Eat the world, Seth. Even if it's just a little bit of it.
There was a moment between 2022 and 2023 where I thought I would become your version of what you are to Max. Your very own Robert Smeth Ford called Eben. But I had to go eat my own part of the world. <3
Something that is packaged in mrgirl's prediction that Drazi will start to hate him is: "if you end up hating me because I've done something wrong, it will be disproportionate, and thus not deserved."
One way of looking at it is that he can't accept admiration, but another way of looking at it is that he can't accept justified hatred. (Here, he is accepting the hatred, but not the *reason* for the hatred.)
Accepting admiration (as justified) means you have to also accept eventual hatred from the same person (as justified). There is a selfish incentive here. I'm not sure if he's responding to it or not, but it is there.
I don’t think Max is operating in terms of what is deserved or underserved. I think he was taught that he doesn’t deserve admiration, but that is very deeply bedded and unconscious.
I think he simply believed Drazi will hate him, and he accepts that. Max is he every extremely against thinking about things in terms of who is justified and who isn’t.
When I say deserved, I don't mean morally deserved - I just mean accurate or inaccurate. If Drazi ends up hating mrgirl, Drazi will probably have reasons (even if he can't articulate them). Observations about mrgirl's behaviour or character that Drazi didn't have when he liked mrgirl - new observations.
Are those observations post-facto justifications, or are they actually new observations creating disillusionment? If they are post-facto justifications, then they don't need to be taken seriously, they can be dismissed.
For example, let's say Drazi slowly realises that mrgirl exerts a subtle form of abuse on the people around him, a pattern that isn't immediately obvious. The prediction that "hatred for me is inevitable" protects mrgirl from having to admit that he has that character flaw, and the prediction may inoculate viewers from taking Drazi seriously when he criticises mrgirl. It may also make Drazi doubt his own observations, and it's probably going to make him want to resist the prediction - so he may excuse bad behaviour so as not to allow the prediction to come true.
Destiny deliberately did this to mrgirl in one of their first chats. "You will eventually betray me." It primed mrgirl to ignore Desitny's bad behaviour, and inoculated the audience against the criticisms that mrgirl eventually came out with - he didn't turn on Destiny for legitimate reasons, he did it for the reasons Destiny predicted.
Interesting, the most intriguing parts are the comparisons of assimilation (of those you "look up to"), and being honest about looking up to a person that is perceived negatively.
Doing the "Dad" comparison is kinda weird in Western culture, but its pretty common in Eastern culture to see parental/familial figures in those you respect, typically they are called Aunty/Uncle, and are always treated respectfully, and humbly.
I do find some of the creative sway in the writing a little meandering, the writing could do with some core "pillars"/"punchlines" (not sure what to call them), but some sort of sign-post, showing the progression through your narrative, as well as keep a "beat" within the rhythm of the writing.
I give this article 6/10
Could be improved with better flow, and a little more understanding of the characters in this article. (There is some assumption that people know who both of you are, and your histories)
Good piece! I read it as a pretty compassionate, for yourself and mrgirl.
The public diagnosis made me the most uncomfortable, but even so, I think it was tastefully done considering I generally view that as unethical. Still think it was unethical, but I suppose if you are going to beat somone up, it is better to put on some gloves instead of smashing their skull on the ground.
I don’t think it’s unethical because I’m not a mental health professional. I also asked for consent for that specifically, and Max essentially said I don’t need it.
It might not be, but I am not coming at it from a professional ethics perspectives. Consent would not change the situation either.
I feel as if we all have inherent privacy to the internal workings of our mind and that inherent privacy, while maybe not explicitly laid out, is what binds the mental health professional ethics. It doesn't disappear when you are not a professional.
I was going to but it would ruin a lot of it because if I post a video at the top, nobody will scroll and watch the videos throughout the essay.
I had an idea to split up audio clips and put them throughout, but that would be ugly and take so much work. I also asked Max to narrate it, which would be funny, but we agreed I would probably be softening the piece.
Eat the world, Seth. Even if it's just a little bit of it.
There was a moment between 2022 and 2023 where I thought I would become your version of what you are to Max. Your very own Robert Smeth Ford called Eben. But I had to go eat my own part of the world. <3
Something that is packaged in mrgirl's prediction that Drazi will start to hate him is: "if you end up hating me because I've done something wrong, it will be disproportionate, and thus not deserved."
One way of looking at it is that he can't accept admiration, but another way of looking at it is that he can't accept justified hatred. (Here, he is accepting the hatred, but not the *reason* for the hatred.)
Accepting admiration (as justified) means you have to also accept eventual hatred from the same person (as justified). There is a selfish incentive here. I'm not sure if he's responding to it or not, but it is there.
I appreciate your thoughts. I don’t agree.
I don’t think Max is operating in terms of what is deserved or underserved. I think he was taught that he doesn’t deserve admiration, but that is very deeply bedded and unconscious.
I think he simply believed Drazi will hate him, and he accepts that. Max is he every extremely against thinking about things in terms of who is justified and who isn’t.
When I say deserved, I don't mean morally deserved - I just mean accurate or inaccurate. If Drazi ends up hating mrgirl, Drazi will probably have reasons (even if he can't articulate them). Observations about mrgirl's behaviour or character that Drazi didn't have when he liked mrgirl - new observations.
Are those observations post-facto justifications, or are they actually new observations creating disillusionment? If they are post-facto justifications, then they don't need to be taken seriously, they can be dismissed.
For example, let's say Drazi slowly realises that mrgirl exerts a subtle form of abuse on the people around him, a pattern that isn't immediately obvious. The prediction that "hatred for me is inevitable" protects mrgirl from having to admit that he has that character flaw, and the prediction may inoculate viewers from taking Drazi seriously when he criticises mrgirl. It may also make Drazi doubt his own observations, and it's probably going to make him want to resist the prediction - so he may excuse bad behaviour so as not to allow the prediction to come true.
Destiny deliberately did this to mrgirl in one of their first chats. "You will eventually betray me." It primed mrgirl to ignore Desitny's bad behaviour, and inoculated the audience against the criticisms that mrgirl eventually came out with - he didn't turn on Destiny for legitimate reasons, he did it for the reasons Destiny predicted.
Interesting, the most intriguing parts are the comparisons of assimilation (of those you "look up to"), and being honest about looking up to a person that is perceived negatively.
Doing the "Dad" comparison is kinda weird in Western culture, but its pretty common in Eastern culture to see parental/familial figures in those you respect, typically they are called Aunty/Uncle, and are always treated respectfully, and humbly.
I do find some of the creative sway in the writing a little meandering, the writing could do with some core "pillars"/"punchlines" (not sure what to call them), but some sort of sign-post, showing the progression through your narrative, as well as keep a "beat" within the rhythm of the writing.
I give this article 6/10
Could be improved with better flow, and a little more understanding of the characters in this article. (There is some assumption that people know who both of you are, and your histories)
Yeah there is somewhat of an assumption there. I agree with most of that. Thanks.
Great work! I really enjoyed this.
I’m glad you liked it <3
Good piece! I read it as a pretty compassionate, for yourself and mrgirl.
The public diagnosis made me the most uncomfortable, but even so, I think it was tastefully done considering I generally view that as unethical. Still think it was unethical, but I suppose if you are going to beat somone up, it is better to put on some gloves instead of smashing their skull on the ground.
I’m glad you liked it.
I don’t think it’s unethical because I’m not a mental health professional. I also asked for consent for that specifically, and Max essentially said I don’t need it.
It might not be, but I am not coming at it from a professional ethics perspectives. Consent would not change the situation either.
I feel as if we all have inherent privacy to the internal workings of our mind and that inherent privacy, while maybe not explicitly laid out, is what binds the mental health professional ethics. It doesn't disappear when you are not a professional.
I'm gonna need somebody to read all that in audio form
I’m sure it will happen.
I was going to but it would ruin a lot of it because if I post a video at the top, nobody will scroll and watch the videos throughout the essay.
I had an idea to split up audio clips and put them throughout, but that would be ugly and take so much work. I also asked Max to narrate it, which would be funny, but we agreed I would probably be softening the piece.
just got done doing it bud check yt
Max has never copied yr shit, your shit sucks.
I’m glad you were able to find the jealous section, right here in the comments. Enjoy your stay!
sexual violence